I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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