ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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