Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
not ubering you a puppy
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
