I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
