I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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