i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
