Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
