I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize