u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
