farters have to be the big spoon...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
