I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
