i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
