I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
