That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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