The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
pray to the hookup gods
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
