So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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