why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize