She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
