I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
