Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
