I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
