i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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