You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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