he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
