I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize