Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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