is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
