Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
as a side note pls kill me
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
