She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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