is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize