i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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