I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
