It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you had me at cake vodka
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
