nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
