yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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