On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
