yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He did a backflip because drugs
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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