she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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