Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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