Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize