That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
