Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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