I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
