my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
