This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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