you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
