I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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