Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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