He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
