i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
