sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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