I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
