seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
