you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
