Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
