How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
These tits shall not be calmed
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
