During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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