Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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