My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize