She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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