If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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