oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
