Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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