Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
